By Rhea Sethi
Hi everybody!
I’m back! It’s me again, Bats Keer. Wow, it’s been a whole month since you’ve heard of me, but I’m sure that you caught me skiing at the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing. Wait a minute, you didn’t see me? Huh, I guess that you weren’t watching all of the ski races since the camera folks guaranteed me special coverage of my intense one man race down the strenuous bunny slope which I won. Anyway, last I saw you I was telling you all about my infamous ski trip to Arendelle. Well, let’s pick up right where we left off!
I was standing at the doorstep of a bright cottage, feeling extremely worn out from falling down a cliff and shivering from the freezing weather just when the door opened and I was greeted by a rather creepy Hagrid copycat. The last thing I heard was the stranger booming, “I’VE BEEN WONDERING WHEN YOU WOULD JOIN US,” before I passed out. It took a while for me to finally open my eyes but when I did, the sight that greeted me was so terrifying I immediately closed them. I awoke on a white cot in a small wooden room but what scared me was the fact that there was no ceiling! I pushed myself up into a standing position and tried to run away from the open “ceiling” until I realized that it is impossible to run away from a ceiling. I decided to try a different approach and face my fears. So I climbed back onto the cot and instead of lying down, I stood on it and slowly wiiled my hand to rise above my head. With a thump, my hand seemed to have hit something and I realized the ceiling was made of glass. Who in their right mind would construct a glass ceiling for a cottage in the middle of the mountains?! Whatever happened to avalanche precautions?! Now more than ever I extremely needed to get out of there so instead of running around the room like a madman, I tried to be a bit more tactical by searching for a door. After some trial and error (including running into the walls) I finally found a way out of that dangerous space.
I stumbled out through a small door into a larger room which thankfully had a tall wood beamed ceiling instead of the disastrous glass one I was just under. “You have finally awakened!” said the man who greeted me earlier, “yoohoo! Big summer blowout!” I guess the man’s voice was not as intimidating as I thought when I was about to faint, instead it was an accented cheery tone.
“Uhhhh hi?” I muttered, still confused and trying to figure out what exactly surrounded me. There looked to be a “big summer blowout” just as the man mentioned. Sun balms, hats, swimsuits, and other warm weather items rested on shelves throughout the room. Other things such as books, clocks, vases and other objects could also be found. Except for the small neglected winter corner with just a single pair of boots, a winter dress and cloak, rope, and an axe, it seemed as if this shop was meant for an entirely different climate than the current one.
“My name is Bob,” said Bob, who was seated at a large mahogany table. He was dressed in a comfy green, blue, and orange wool sweater topped off with a matching cap with puffs of hair poking out from under, “what is your name?” Should I tell him my name? I pondered, I remember Mommy telling me to never ever share my name with strangers. Well…I guess he did kinda save me. After some back and forth, I decided to share my name.
“I am the infamous skier, Bats Keer!”
“Oh Bad Skier is your name?” he exclaimed. “Hahahahaha! That is the perfect name for you considering you skied off a cliff!”
I was devastated. “….you saw that?”
“Oh I see everything!” he joyfully replied.
“And you didn’t come out to help me?”
“Oh no no no, you see, it was far too cold outside.” He hastily tried to right his wrongdoings,
“Yeah, yeah…totally…”
Just then the door flew open and a woman around 20 years old trekked into the cabin. Her floral dark green dress–much more suited for a summer garden party–seemed to be frozen solid. Her auburn hair which was swirled into an ornate hairstyle was decorated with icicles.
“Yoohoo! Big summer blowout!” Bob said excitedly.
“Oh um no thank you,” the woman politely declined in a prim voice with a Norwegian accent. “Do you happen to have boots? And winter dresses?”
“Right over there, Miss!” Bob pointed to the disregarded winter corner.
“Oh I see, thank you!” The lady strolled over to the section and ran her hands over the only dress and pair of boots.
Suddenly the door flew open yet again and this time a burly man completely engulfed in snow stomped in, leaving imprints of snow in his trail.
Bob welcomed the man with his traditional statement. “Yoohoo! Big summer blowo-”
“No thanks.” The man interrupted with a gruff voice, he made straight to the winter section and grabbed the axe and rope. He also snatched a bundle of carrots off another shelf. The man tossed these items on the wooden table and pressed down a handful of bills.
Bob carefully thumbed through the bills and burst out laughing. “This–hahahahaha–is not–hahahahahaha–even close to the amount you need,” He gasped between bursts of laughter.
The man–whose feathers have obviously been ruffled by Bob–huffed and stomped out. Meanwhile, the woman carefully picked up her dress and boots and placed them on the counter. She also added the man’s items to her pile. She handed over at least five times the amount of money the man had offered. “I need a ride.” She said with a shrug when Bob gave her a questioning look. And that’s when I realized, I am stranded in the middle of nowhere; I guess I need a ride too. So I followed her out into the blizzard, prepared to do whatever it takes to get back to my beach house in Florida.
That was my big adventure! I managed to get a ride from the man and with a few detours–including fighting a snow monster, making friends with a talking snowman, and finding some psycho ice queen Elsa–and I finally made it home to the good old sunshine state. My trip to Arendelle definitely opened my eyes; I now know that snow monsters exist! But I don’t think I’ll be going back anytime soon, one can only fight so many snow monsters. Anyway, I gotta go train! As I mentioned in my last speech, an Olympic skier’s life is never ever busy!
Toodles!