Some people believe that America is a beautiful nation, and some people believe that it is a broken nation. Everyone cannot agree on one president. Everyone has their own mind, and their own beliefs. But would you like a president that everyone likes, and will make this country be peaceful and rich, so everyone can have an opportunity? You might be thinking “There is NO way that I will agree to this. It is impossible to have one president that everyone likes. I am not falling for this.”
There is only one response for this…
Choose Jeff.
Why, you may ask? Well, this is what we are going to talk about.
Why Jeff?
Jeff is probably the kindest soul you will ever meet. He is true, a hard worker, and, of course, kind. He will help our nation become a better place. He will unite our people, and help them get through war if it comes. He will switch to clean, reusable energy, and the Willow project in Alaska will be canceled to help his plan to save polar bears, seals, and other endangered animals. And don’t even worry about age requirements-he is 64. Has this convinced you yet? If not, we still have four years to convince you. This is only the beginning. Now, shift your eyes down a bit as we try to persuade you.
Who on earth even is Jeff?
My, what a question! The new president of the United States of America will be an antique toy rabbit! Yes, this may SEEM like a horrible idea, but trust me, your hate will be unmatched for his cuteness. But, behind Jeff is Amelia, or Millie Oleson. She is an extremely smart 6th grader in Wayland Middle School in Massachusetts. She was the one who adopted Jeff from an antique store, and transformed him into the handsome, smart, and happy little gentleman he is today. (And imagine what a gentleman he’ll be in four years! So wise, so smart, and oh so handsome. To be honest, all our presidents combined would not even be close to Jeff.) But, we know that handsomeness is not the key to running for president. A president must be strong, smart, brave, and kind to the people of his or her country. I just defined Jeff in one sentence! (Jeff’s stories will be out soon too, showing the heroics of our local bunny.) He will always take advantage of what there is, and he will make our citizens happy. Ever since he was a kid, he has been a leader, commander, and kind and supportive friend to anyone. Now THESE are traits of a good president. Jeff was the top of his class in elementary school, middle, and high school. He then went to Janice’s president college to study what it takes to be president. From that, he got a degree in math, ELA, science, and law. Look at that: he is smart and beautiful! In his free time, Jeff is just a normal bunny doing normal bunny things. He likes to read, write, and spend time with Millie. He also likes nature.
Jeff’s Life
Jeff started out as a normal bunny. He was born on April 19th, 1996 in Florida, Massachusetts. He was very good friends with Michael Jackson at about four years old. Jeff stayed at Michael Jackson’s Neverland, and he had lots of fun there. Jeff was happy, and really social. By five years old, Jeff had over 30 friends. Whoa! When he started preschool, he was friends with everyone in his school…except Sloth. Sloth was his worst enemy, and Sloth was his bully. But, Jeff didn’t bully Sloth back. He knew from a very young age that there are better things to do than argue with other people. Jeff studied, even at six years old! He wanted to excel in school. Then, in kindergarten, Jeff continued to study math and English. He had a moment of realization on how to spell every single word in the entire dictionary. He wanted to be a lawyer.
1st grade
Jeff’s mom bought him a diary because he loved to write. And oh, how he loved that diary. He brought it everywhere, and didn’t look up from it unless the teacher called on him. And in less than three months, the diary was filled with doodles, stories, math equations, and new words that he learned. Jeff was happy.
2nd grade
Jeff found a new job for him: president. In school, he was learning about the presidents of America. He thought, “Whoa, I’d love to be president and rule the country! So much responsibility…” And he started researching what it took to be president.
3rd grade
Jeff grew up a lot. He made a club called “Presidents Club,” where people gather around, look at books about presidents, and share information. This way, Jeff could learn facts about presidents much faster. He was a genius in third grade, and people loved him. His teachers said he had a great future, and he was one of the popular boys. Life was good.
4th grade
This is when Jeff’s life took a turn. His parents sent him to a boarding school that is for geniuses. And Jeff was used to being the best of the best. But here, he was a nobody. He had so much homework, so many things to do, and so few friends. Jeff had no time for breaks. He was working like a highschooler in 4th grade!
5th grade
Jeff was beginning to understand the school system. Jeff was catching up to the smart people at his school, and teachers were starting to notice him and give him compliments. He made some new friends, and life was getting easier.
6th grade
Middle school started, and just when life was getting easier…BAM! Homework. New teachers. New students.
“Okay,” Jeff said. “This can’t be happening. I need to get better at getting new friends and I need to get my grades up.”
And so he did.
7th grade
He had been going at his plan for a year now. Jeff got smarter and got some new friends, yes, but people started getting skeptical of him. They said, “How could a BUNNY get smarter than a human? That’s just nonsense!” Jeff pretended that he couldn’t hear them. He knew that soon they will be working at the old McDonalds down the street for a living, and he will be President of the United States of America.
8th grade
Jeff knew that he was going to go to high school now, and he was ready. He had been studying at a college level for the past two years, and he was not going to turn back. He always made sure to spend time with friends and family, though. And he had developed a new title at school: “Nerd.”
9th grade
The moment he had always been waiting for came….High school. So many new faces, so many new subjects, like trigonometry, made his life so much more interesting. No one bullied him; they didn’t even look at him – probably because on the last day of middle school the teachers showed everyone’s grades. And let’s just say a couple of people fainted.
10th grade
Jeff started thinking about what college he was going to enroll in. His parents were getting old, and he wanted to visit them more often. His dad suggested Boston University, because he claimed that it was “the best of the best.” But Jeff was used to exceeding expectations. He was going to Harvard.
11th grade
Jeff had one more year, and he was so excited! He was studying twice as hard. His parents said he had a gift. Jeff made popular clubs, he made friends, and he was very athletic and handsome. All the girls were into him. He even got a girlfriend! And somehow, he still had time to practice sports, spend time with family and friends, and even just watch some tv. Life was becoming great.
12th grade
“This is it,” Jeff said. “I’m going to Harvard University. Now THAT is the best of the best.” His last year in high school he got more sleep, and he let himself relax a bit more. Because Harvard…
…was going to be tough.
BEFORE COLLEGE
When Jeff opened his email and saw the word “Accepted,” his face lit up, and for a week the sparkle in his eyes didn’t fade. He studied, packed, and most importantly, spent the last moments with his family. Because soon the people who cared for you your entire life will be gone, and you’ll just be on your own. That’s just life. It really is.
COLLEGE
Jeff really loved college. He had lots of friends, who supported him and were hard workers like him. The best part was that he had a car and he could literally do or say anything he wanted. He also could go anywhere he wanted. Classes were harder, but he could handle it. He finally found his people…and place. (Home and family were much more important – he knew that.)
AFTER COLLEGE
Jeff got himself a job… lawyer. People hated him, they said that he was a robot, or unnatural. They didn’t believe that a rabbit could become a lawyer or even go to school. But his work proved otherwise. Here is one of the articles from when Jeff was a lawyer.
JEFF: Possible president or evil fraud?rewrewrew
Many people have been talking about the JEFF situation, and it has become such a huge spectacle that our news company had to literally stop everything and start writing this. Anyways, Jeff went to Harvard University and studied law, English, math, and what it took to be president. Many people from Massachusetts have been talking about this for weeks. How can a bunny be president? A lawyer? I mean, there isn’t a rule regarding this, but…
Seriously? How can a bunny be a lawyer? But his work has proved that a bunny CAN indeed be a lawyer. But President? We have no evidence. Like I said, OUR NEWS COMPANY HAD TO DROP EVERYTHING AND WRITE THIS. Do we even have the right to do this? Is this legal? Who told the CEO we can write this? Oh wait this isn’t lega-
Alright, well that news article Jeff actually stole and no one actually saw until now. You might be one of the few people who actually saw this top-secret unreleased article. (Don’t tell anyone please)
Okay, continuing with the story, now Jeff is trying to run for president. His dream was to run for president and BE president for his whole life. And I hope that after finishing this article, you can truly see what Jeff has been through and why he wants to be president. And with that, this article has come to an end. Thank you so much for reading this!
AUTHORS NOTE
Helloooo this is Maria Kuklina, the person who wrote this article. I am really excited for people to see this, and I hope they see Jeff for who he is. Jeff is a beautiful, amazing rabbit, and people need to recognize that. This article has proved in so many ways that Jeff is going to be a great president for the United States of America. He will help the people get freedom, (but not too much, he knows the consequences).
I really hope that this article will help the people of Wayland Middle School understand Jeff for who he is, and the students will spread the word about Jeff to different schools around Massachusetts and America.
Thank you so much for reading this, and I’d like to wish you a good day or night.
-By Maria Kuklina, writer/ poster designer for Jeff club.
VOTE JEFF 2028!!!!!!!!!!
