Prologue:  

I’m Detective Mr. Potato Head Axolotl (I know, it is a very weird name) and I think solving mysteries is very fun.  I live at 56 Foreign Road-Circle. I am about to tell you about my favorite mystery that will probably blow your mind.

 

Thump!  What was that?  I leaped.  I was startled awake and decided to go to my door and open it because I had a hunch that somebody had knocked on my door.  When I opened it I saw this hideous armless being that looked like a fire with eyes. When it saw me it just started to talk fast to me.  

“Joe, the owner of the Store for Sports Cards was just murdered,” he told me very fast.  Before I could respond he quickly disintegrated into a pile of ashes. I was the most horrified that I’ve ever been in my life.  I didn’t even think you could be that horrified and that there was something that weird in the world.

Right after that I called the police to ask them if they knew what the armless being was.

“Hello, this is Detective Mr. Potato Head Axolotl.  There was an armless being that knocked on my door that looked like a fire with eyes and told me that Joe, the owner of the Store for Sports Cards was just murdered.  I was so horrified and right after that he disintegrated into a pile of ashes. Do you know anything about this?” I asked quickly.

“Woah, woah, woah.  Calm down. Sorry, we actually sent that armless being to your house to tell you about the murder.  We are very sorry it scared you. We know you are a great detective which is why we wanted you to solve this mystery.  We think we know a witness of the murder. His name is Curly,” the policeman on the phone told me. He also told me Curly’s house address.

 

I finally got to Curly’s house and I knocked on the door.  

“Hello, is anyone home?” I asked.

“Who is it?” somebody inside the house responded.

“It is me, Detective Mr. Potato Head Axolotl.  I heard that you were a witness to the murder of Joe, the owner of the Store for Sports Cards.”

“Yes, yes.  Come in.” I opened the door of the house and walked inside.  There was a person who had very long and straight gray hair and a thick goatee.  He was just standing behind the door right in the middle of what I assumed to be the living room.  I also saw that there was a lot of sports memorabilia and cards in his house so I assumed he loved sports.  “Sorry for that. I’m Curly by the way.”

“It’s okay.  Hey Curly, what happened when you were at the scene of the crime?” I started to question.

“Well, I was at the store because as you might have already figured out I love sports.  I saw a person run into the store and I ran outside because I thought the person looked suspicious.  I noticed that the person was wearing a Naroem sweatshirt with blue jeans. I went straight to a window looking into the store and saw that the person had a pencil in his left hand and I watched him murder Joe with the pencil who was holding a T206 Honus Wagner card in his right hand.  I then saw him take the card and steal a bunch of other stuff from the store before running away. Right after he ran away I called the police to tell them what had happened,” he told me.

“Wait.  Do you mean the very expensive Honus Wagner card when he was a shortstop for the Pittsburgh Pirates in the early 1900s?”

“Yes.  It is.”

“Well, who do you suspect committed the crime?”

“I suspect Moe, Shemp, and Larry because they hate Joe because they all say that he sometimes rips them off.  I am also enemies with all of them but I was friends with Joe before he was murdered.” He gave me their house addresses and I quickly drove to Moe’s house.  

 

When I got to his house I knocked on his door.

“I’m coming!” someone yelled very loudly.  “I’m Moe. Who are you?”

“I’m Detective Mr. Potato Head Axolotl,” I told him.  I noticed that he opened and closed the door after I came in using his right hand.  I also observed that he was wearing a blue Naroem sweatshirt with blue jeans. I decided I would wait to blame him until I talked to all three suspects.  “Is it okay if I ask you a few questions about a crime that was committed.”

“Sure. What happened?” he again asked in a very loud voice.  

“Joe, the owner of the Store for Sports Cards was murdered.”

“I’m so sorry.  That is very sad.”

“I have a few questions for you.  First, do you suspect anyone and if so who and why?” I started to question.

“Yes.  I suspect Larry because he is a very greedy man,” he answered.

“Also, what do you know about the Store for Sports Cards?”

“All I know is that the Store for Sports Cards is one of the only places with the very ultra rare T206 Honus Wagner card.”

“Where were you at the time of the crime?”

“I don’t know. You never told me when the crime was committed,” he shrugged.

“Good answer,” I replied.  “The crime was committed at 9:46 this morning.”

“Oh. Thanks.  I was at the grocery market Shop and Stop buying stuff.”

“Do you have the receipt to prove it?” I asked.  His cheeks then started to get very bright red.

“No.  I’m so sorry.  I put it in the trash can but the trash peeps came yesterday,” he answered in an ashamed way.

“Okay.  Thank you for your time.  I will tell you later what I discovered.”  While I was leaving he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and looked like he was relieved.

 

The next house I went to was Shemp’s.  When I got there I decided to ring the doorbell.

“Hello?” I asked.

“I’m coming!” someone yelled.  He opened the door with his left hand and closed the door with his left hand when I came in to his house.  “Who are you and why are you here? My name is Shemp.”

“I am Detective Mr. Potato Head Axolotl and I am here because of the murder of the owner of the Store for Sports Cards.  May I ask you a few questions?”

“Uhhhh…  Okay,” he nervously responded.

“Who do you suspect possibly committed the crime?  If you suspect anyone, why?”

“Well I suspect Moe because he needs money.”

“What do you know about the Store for Sports Cards?”

“All I know is that the owner is named Joe and the store is very popular.”

“Finally, the crime was committed at 9:46 this morning.  What were you doing then?”

“I was working at a pencil company for my job as the accountant.”

“Thank you.  Bye bye.”

“Bye.”

 

When I finally got to Larry’s house the door was open and I heard a very low and loud sound coming through the house.  It sounded like he was playing the euphonium.

“Excuse me?  Hello?” I said.

“Oh.  Sorry.  I was just playing my euphonium.  I have been expecting you. I’m Larry and you must be Detective Mr. Potato Head Axolotl coming to ask me some questions about the murder of the owner of the Store for Sports Cards.  Would you like me to close the door?” Larry told me. What is happening?  This is creepy. How does he know this?  I noticed that he was also wearing a Naroem sweatshirt with blue jeans just like Moe.

“Okay.  My first question is how do you know this?”  I noticed that he closed the door with his right hand.

“Well, a man named Curly called me so I would know that you were coming.  I didn’t realize you would be so weirded out.”

“Thanks.  Also, do you suspect anyone and do you know anything about the Store for Sports Cards?”

“I don’t know anything about the Store for Sports Cards and I don’t suspect anybody.”

“Where were you at 9:46 this morning?  That was when the crime was committed.”

“I think at that time I was sitting at my counter watching People’s Epic Fails on JQG on my TV.  I also might have been playing the euphonium because I think that People’s Epic Fails might have ended while the crime was being committed.”

“Thank you for your time, Larry.”

 

IMPORTANT: If you would like to solve this mystery yourself then do not read this next part until you think you have solved the mystery.  Otherwise, read on.

 

I thought I had the mystery solved but I had to make sure that my hypothesis was right.  To prove it I decided to ask Curly to help me with my plan.

“Hello, is this Curly?” I asked through the phone.

“Yes it is.  How are you?” he responded.

“I’m good but right now is not a good time for chit-chat.  I need to tell you something urgent. I am pretty sure Shemp committed the crime but I need proof so I need you to be part of my plan.”

“Okay.  What is the plan and what can I do to help?”

“Well the plan is that you will call Shemp up and ask him to meet you at Stooge Parkey-Landish at 2:35 p.m. today because someone told you that he has a T206 Honus Wagner card and you are looking to buy it for four million dollars.  Make sure to ask him how he got the card if he does have it. I will record what he says to use it as solid evidence. You will start to make the deal but if he does have the Honus Wagner card and is selling it to you I will jump out from behind a bush and arrest him.  I will try to get there at 2:15 just in case.”

“Okay.  I will meet you there.”

 

I was hiding behind a bush when I saw Shemp and Curly.  They weren’t near me so I crept closer and moved behind another bush so I could get proof by recording Shemp’s words about what happened.

“Hello, Shemp,”  Curly said.

“Hello, Curly.  Are you ready to make the deal?” Shemp asked.

“Yes.  I have the money right here.”  Curly had a briefcase that he unlocked and opened revealing the four million dollars in one hundred dollar bills.  “Where did you get the card?

“Oh.  Shh.” He lowered his voice so I moved closer so the recording would be clearer.  “I stole this from the Store for Sports Cards and I murdered Joe. Here’s the card, now give me the money.”

“Here you go.”  They were making the exchange of card and cash when I flew out from behind a bush.

“It was you!  You are under arrest for murdering Joe!”  I hollered. “Put your hands behind your back!”

“How do you know it was me?”  Shemp whimpered.

“Multiple reasons.  The person who committed the crime had a pencil that was used as the murder weapon and you work at a pencil company so I bet you could get free pencils.  Also, the person held the pencil in their left hand and you are a lefty because you opened and closed the door when I came to your house with your left hand,”  I explained my reasoning. I walked over to Shemp and handcuffed him. I called the police and they brought him to court where they determined after I told them my clues and made them listen to the recording I taped that Shemp should be brought to where he deserves to be.  That place was jail.

 

Epilogue:

Shemp later revealed that the reason he committed the crime was because he hated Joe and wanted to kill him.  He wanted to kill him because 16 years ago he had the Honus Wagner card but Joe took advantage of him and bought it for $100.  Shemp was so mad when he found out that it was worth far more. He also wanted to get gifts for his family who loved sports cards and thought the prices at the Store for Sports Cards were too expensive.  He didn’t want to use something like a gun or a knife so he used a pencil because he works at a pencil company so he gets a lot of free pencils.