I woke up with the natural sunlight blinding my pupils; the sight of the dust rushing through the air looked like floating glitter. I still had the same allergenic red eyes, still had the stuffy nose, and still had the ringing ear. I never got sick. The last time I was sick I was 6. Four years later, I was there thinking why I let this take over . The 6 hour plane ride over to Oregon got me, and I was paying the price. Crawling out of the firm guest bed was rough considering I was sore, everywhere. I strutted down the windy stairs, feeling worse than ever. I missed a step, and fell down with a heep. I see my dad outside, on the porch looking out at our near future. I opened the door, it seemed to be heavy. My dad said to me ¨Mornin, you see that right there? By the end of the day, we will be up there.¨ He was talking about the outlined shape of Mt. Hood in the distance. From where I’m standing, the sky was a light pink and blue, I hear a breeze in the trees, but it is muted from the loud noise in my ear. I was thinking to myself, how am I going to hike this mountain?

At first, I was not ok with this, I explained to him that I was sick but he insisted we were going in an hour. I hadn’t prepared for this mentally yet, and I definitely wasn’t prepared physically. I went back up the stairs, flopped on my bed, with no hope of feeling better. I stayed there for at least 30 minutes staring at the clock. Minute by minute. Lying there made me notice things I wouldn’t have before — the white paint on the ceiling, the old boxes, the scent of the blankets. It was all new, yet familiar. I hear a knock on the door, it wasn’t necessary because he walked in anyways. ¨Hey Ry, you ready to go?¨ my dad said gesturing to go down the twisted staircase. Is this real? Or am I just thinking the worst? I tell to myself as I hunch up with emphasis, then walk out of the room.

I got on my clean new boots, which I had just bought for the trip and I was proud of, got my small backpack, and got in the car. Right behind me was a nice dog named Cona. Cona was in the trunk, but it wasn’t closed off. Occasionally he would come over and lick me on the cheek. Cona made feel a little more comfortable. I hope he doesn’t run off I thought to myself. I was in a negative mind set, so I was thinking the worst. The windy, off road ride to the mountain was unsettling for my vulnerable stomach. After a 10 minute drive, we arrived at the utterly large base of the mountain. My self confidence was down the drain for thinking I could conquer this; knees weak, butterflies in my stomach, and a heavy neck.

When we started hiking up we realized there were different stages in the mountain. The first one was an all burned out forest. The ashes covered the ground and the old staggered trees stood hunched, lacked life. I was in wow because I had never seen anything like it. My eyes opened wide to gaze. By then I had a slight feeling of comfort, but it was only a tease. A little taste of feeling better, but I brushed it off the first time. The negativity was still attached to me. Once we got out of the cindered area, it was much brighter and more lush with colors. The change in atmosphere was drastic. We walked through the tall absurdly green grass, which enlightened me. There were no trees were I was in that moment. It looked liked they had been pushed to the side, like they were making way for me. That wasn’t true, but it was ok with me. Science wouldn’t work like that, I whispered in my head. Suddenly, the ringing in my ear was gone. I dashed over to my dad and told him. He said ¨must be the change in altitude.¨ I had a feeling it was something greater, but I wasn’t sure at the time.

Cona ran over to me since I was ahead, he nudged me in the leg and gestured to go back to where ever one else was. We had a race. It was refreshing to feel new air in my lungs. The view from where we were was amazing already, but I kept going. The grass started to fade, it turned into gravel rocks, the incline got much steeper and there weren’t any more trees, just sky behind our heavy packs. My pain started to fade away completely.  It started in my fingertips, then made its way inside and out of my body. Time seemed to stop in that moment because nothing was moving around me, not the snow farther up, not the wind level with my face, not the clouds in the sky. Nothing. All bad thoughts of sickness were gone. This was the first time in my life I was completely satisfied with my well being. I squinted my tired eyes out ahead. It didn’t matter what I was looking at, but I knew I could conquer it at that moment.

July, 2008:

Summer was hot in New Hampshire. My brother and I sat in the yard, the heat made us drowsy. My dad was driving the big green tractor around the yard, carrying wood from one side, to the other. My mother was inside making lunch. On such a nice hot day, we would rather be at the beach, but we were unoccupied, sitting lazily in the yard. My dad noticed me playing with a stick, too exhausted to find a more enjoyable distraction from the heat. He walked up to my brother and I, and said we could go for a ride if we wanted.

The drowsiness from the temperature couldn’t have disappeared faster. My brother practically fell off the monkey bars, and then regaining his balance, and bounding towards my dad. I escaped from my boredom, and flung myself onto the rusty, metal, dirt stained tractor. Most little girls would be worried about getting their nice shirt or dress dirty, but in my old hand me down jeans, and LSU t-shirt my dad got on a business trip to Baton Rouge, I didn’t mind a little mud. Some people said it needed a wash, sometimes my dad said that, but to me, it couldn’t have been more perfect. The dirt stains, and scratches were memories, battle scars.

My dad plopped down onto his seat, wiping his grease smeared hands on his sweating brow, and then drying them on his blue jeans. My brother sat himself on my dad, he was wearing his favorite spider man shirt he’s had since he was three, now it was more of a crop top. I took my place, my favorite spot, the big metal part next to the seat that covered the wheel. My dad laughed at our excitement. He told us today was going to be different. I looked at my brother, both of us confused. He picked up my brother, and put him on the ground, and I jumped onto his back, making him grunt in surprise. He carried me towards the front of the tractor, and put me on the ground next to my brother. He saw our confusion, and gestured toward the large claw in the front. The claw was about as long as my dad’s height, he was about 6 feet. The claw was covered with dry mud, bugs, and wood chips. My dad grabbed a green towel, with blue and pink tropical looking flowers. He laid it out onto the claw, revealing a few holes and grease stains. I squealed with excitement, not believing the amazing thing about to happen. I hopped into the claw, careful not to impale myself with the pointy, metal parts of it. My brother sat down next to me. My dad disappeared to the back of the tractor, and started the engine.
My brother and I held hands as the claw rose into the air. We were giddy with excitement. The tractor surged forward, and we gasped in the sudden fear overwhelming us. For me the fear disappeared just as fast as it came, because I noticed that we were taking my favorite trail. As for my brother, he gripped my hand in horror, we were about ten feet from the ground. I told him to look at me, to comfort him. Altho, for some reason I thought that his little baby scared face, was hilarious. I thought it was the funniest thing in the world. At first I tried to contain myself, it started as a smirk, and a giggle rose in my throat. Next thing I knew tears were streaming down my face, and I was snorting as I laughed. My brother didn’t get why I was laughing, and neither did I really. Nonetheless, we both ended up howling with laughter for a few minutes, sharing a random, yet hilarious moment. Soon enough the laughter died, and we were left catching our breath from the hysterical events that occurred moments ago. My brother rested his small head on my shoulder as we drove forward. We fit together perfectly, even though I usually couldn’t stand his constant bickering, I sometimes allowed a small moment of peace.

We looked up, and the view before us made us gasp in unison. The birch forest was glowing with red, yellow, orange, pink, and more colors I couldn’t even comprehend. The sunset set the forest on fire. The greenest grass I had ever seen grew tall, and thick. Large golden brown birds dove down to the earth, and then swept back into the trees to devour their prey. We saw deer leap among the tall grass, weaving in and out of the trees, frolicking happily together in the magnificent woods. The forest was glowing with life, all kind of animals found their way to their place for the end of the day, while the nocturnal creatures began to lurk in the shadows, ready to awaken and hunt for the night. We emerged from the lively wood.

The next sight presented to us was an open cliff. We could see the sun illuminating the earth before us. A small stream trickled past us, and fell into a spectacular waterfall, too small and delicate to find it’s way to the earth below. We left the burning forest behind us, and rode towards the edge. My dad lowered the claw, and my brother and I hopped out to witness the amazing view. We stared at the woods around us, at our small, little house. We stared at the people of the town, busily going about their day in a typical rush. From up here we felt no stress, no rushing, no bustling around. Up here we felt like we were flying.

My dad came up to me from behind, and hoisted me onto his shoulders, he took my brother’s hand, and together we looked ahead at the horizon. Together, sharing this beautiful moment, watching the sun sink behind the mountains, and stars took over the sky.