Remember those pretty, perky, crown-wearing princesses from your youth? I’m sure you have fond memories of Cinderella and Snow White. Maybe you liked Jasmine, or Mulan? Whichever you prefer, I’m here to prove that the million-dollar Disney Princess franchise isn’t as sweet as it seems. Don’t get me wrong, I love the royal teenagers, and I’m probably a little too obsessed with them. Nevertheless, the harsh reality for Disney enthusiasts and 5-year-olds alike is that those 11 royal pains are NOT good role models.

In case you’re not a Disney enthusiast, let me give you a crash course on Princesshood. There are three criteria aspiring princesses must meet. They must be a main character in a Disney animated movie; they must be human; and they must either be born royal, marry royal, or perform an act of heroism. If an aspiring princess meets at least one of these criteria, then her rank depends on the success of her movie. In addition, she cannot be introduced in a sequel. The current princess line-up consists of the following 11 women: Snow White, Aurora (Sleeping Beauty), Ariel, Jasmine, Rapunzel, Merida, Pocahontas, Cinderella, Tiana, Belle, and Mulan. For a short time Anna and Elsa from Frozen were official Disney princesses, but the movie was so successful that Disney made the sisters their own franchise. Out of the 11 princesses, only Mulan gained princesshood through an act of heroism. In fact, they made that rule specifically for her. I mean, saving all of China has to count for something, right? Furthermore, only Merida doesn’t end up with a man at the end of her movie, although Elsa didn’t either, but she isn’t technically a Disney Princess anymore. Now assuming you’ve seen all of these movies, I’ll get on with my argument.

First of all, the Disney Princesses are way too pretty. Not only are they all absolutely gorgeous, they also all wear big fluffy ball gowns and excessive jewelry, save Jasmine, who wears a bikini and pillow pants. Furthermore, they all have long, beautiful hair that somehow never gets tangled, except Rapunzel from Tangled, which is kind of self-explanatory. Can we talk about Ariel for a second? Her hair is beautiful and thick and perfect, even though she’s been living in salt water her whole life and uses a fork as a hairbrush. Her hair should look like a birds nest!

Maybe you don’t see anything wrong with these teenage supermodels. Sorry, role models. I forgot. But what’s wrong with looking good? It’s not doing any harm. It is a fantasy, after all. It’s not real. Surely we all know that.

Of course it’s not real. That’s the problem. Disney can make these women look as real and as fake as they want. They chose to make them absolutely gorgeous. But so what? It’s their choice. It’s not doing any harm.

Here’s the problem. The more you invest yourself in a fantasy, the more difficult it is to discern that fantasy from reality.

This is especially true for young girls. We see photoshopped models in magazines every day, and grown-ups know that it’s just a marketing ploy. No one looks that good. But young people, especially 13-year-olds such as myself, have difficulty figuring out what they’re supposed to look like. We always have instructions for how to add, subtract, even how to talk, but we don’t have instructions for what we should look like. We seek social media and pop culture to sort it out, and it can have some terrible consequences. When we see 11 tall, beautiful, thin, picture-perfect princesses, we subconsciously change ourselves to be like them. Indirectly, this can lead to depression, eating disorders, and other diseases that young people get when they don’t feel perfect.

Furthermore, the same discrepancies can be found when we look at the diversity of the line up. I know this issue has been brought up a lot lately, and I’m not saying that Disney is racist and only makes white princesses. The thing is, back in 1938 when Snow White came out, it was perfectly fine to have all white princesses. But our society is changing, and Disney is struggling to keep up. It’s not easy making big blockbuster films with a diverse set of characters that are also good role models. Although I will say that there are only four women of color in the line-up, plus Moana coming out later this year. My concern is that they aren’t making princesses with mental or physical disabilities. I think Disney should make a princess with a disability and have her perform an act of heroism. This would prove that the disabled community can do things just like anybody else, and that although a disability is a difference, it isn’t a limitation.

While we’re talking about acts of heroism, I have a problem with a few of the princesses acting really stupid. I know what you’re thinking. I’m absolutely crazy. But bear with me, I’ll explain in a second.

Let’s talk about Snow White. On the surface, she’s sweet and kind, and she can cook and clean, and does a bunch of nice stuff. Oh yeah, but she also walks into some random person’s house, eats their dinner, and then falls asleep. That’s not only really stupid, it’s also incredibly rude. What, does she assume that the dwarf’s food was made specifically for her? Also, she falls for the same exact trick three times! Do we want little girls to play dumb just so they can be like Snow White?

But it’s just a movie. And little kids can’t be bothered with little details like that. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the movie. Besides, Snow White is 14, she’s allowed to make a few mistakes.

Yeah. She’s one year older than I, and she eats a poisoned apple from some old hag who fakes a heart attack. Not very smart. And she’s not the only one. Why does Ariel trust some random creepy octopus lady and then sell her voice for a pair of legs? What kind of trade is that, anyway? And Cinderella honestly does nothing but chores the whole movie. Her mice do everything for her, and then her fairy godmother makes her a pretty dress and she goes to the ball. Can’t she do anything herself?

These princesses are role models to little girls worldwide. We can’t let them believe Prince Charming will come and save them every time they need help. Why is Merida the only princess that doesn’t end up with a man? And Mulan the only one who performs an act of heroism? No offense, Snow White, but finding a cottage in the forest is nothing like saving all of China from a homicidal maniac. And Sleeping Beauty? You’ll have to do a lot more than sleep if you want to impress me.

Disney needs new princesses who are determined, independant women who try to better society. They need to paint a new picture of those 11 supermodels, and I mean literally. They redesigned the princesses in 2013, and did an awful job, but they can do it again and make them more realistic and relatable. I have high hopes for Moana. Maybe Mulan will have competition for that act of heroism. Or Merida won’t be the only one who doesn’t end up married. Don’t let me down, Disney. Those 11 royal pains still have a chance.